


I Idolised You Once

by SlimyWater



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Be Careful What You Wish For, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 02:03:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20268232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimyWater/pseuds/SlimyWater
Summary: Coming of age Rom-com.Starts slow, but I promise you it's going to build up. Just you wait.





	1. The Splinter

Thanos ran his big chumby fingers on his throne and a soft gasp escaped his tiny lips. He looked down to see a splinter the size of Todd Howard lodged in his pointer finger.

"Ouchie," he said out loud, loud enough to make Ebony Maw jump from where he was sat on the carpet reading a Doctor Strange comic. Ebony liked Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange was just like him, Ebony felt.

When Thanos shouted Ebony ended up tearing his comic and wanted to cry, but forgot which orifice to direct his tears to so they came out of his hand holes and ruined the comic even more.

"Get this splinter out of me already" said and demanded Thanos in anger. He whimpered softly like a lost dog.

"Dad you ruined my comic"

"Don't be stupid I haven't got off my throne in at least a century"

Proxima Midnight came in with a strut, "Father I have found all of the stones"

"All of them?!" Thanos screamed in shock and confusion.

"Yes" replied Proxima

"Where are they?" Thanos demanded, still not moving from his throne.

"A terran has them"

"Take me to Terra" Thanos demanded.

"Dad can I come?" Ebony asked, dropping his comic to the floor because he had read that Doctor Strange was a terran, and wanted to meet his idol desperately. He hoped that they could become friends.

"Yes my son, let us kill the terrans"

"Oh" Ebony would have to kill Doctor Strange, so they couldn't become friends, he supposed.

Thanos placed his hands on the arms of his throne, splinter momentarily forgotten. He squeaked when he felt the pain, but he had always likened himself to a bad bitch, so knew that he could beat it.

The throne creaked ominously as Thanos stood. Ebony watched with his jaw unhinged so far, it slapped against his stomach.

There in the hard wood of the throne, were two impressions left behind from over 100 years of Thanos being sat on the chair. One was oval in shape; the other was rectangular. No one could truly understand why.

"Make haste" Thanos said to whoever it was he had forced to steer the ship. "if we aren't in Terra in two days, one of you can explain to me why."

Thanos sat again. And waited.

Ebony Maw felt fear claw in his gut. He hoped Doctor Strange was not a real terran, and only existed in his ruined comic.


	2. Meanwhile on Terra...

Steven Grant Rogers paced in front of where his friends all stood clustered around a yellow glove. He was confused. And deep in thought.

Thor broke the silence, "these are the stones"

"The what?" said Clint

"The Infinity Stones," continued Thor and he stroked his beard like a glum detective who was considering all of the clues of a fresh murder scene

"Uh... Yes?" Said spiderman in full costume despite everyone else wearing casual Midgardian wear - even Thor.

"Why are they attached to a...rubber glove?" asked the god of thunder.

Tony sighed loudly in typical drama queen form, "no offense buddy, but some of us just like to look good when we wash the dishes. It's really not that big of a deal"

"NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL?" Thor said calmly

"Alright enough!" said Steve, arms folded because when he needed to assert dominance he always made sure his biceps were at maximum flex and doing this made them look the largest. Tony backed down from where he was about to yell at Thor, because his husband's biceps where as big as his head and he didn't want to get on the wrong side of them.

Natasha sighed very very quietly and just looked at Tony, "it's simple. Tell us how you got the gems."

The gang, consisting of Clint who was sat on top of the fridge in timeout, Rhodey who was sat on a stool eating his cereal calmly, Thor who was angrily nibbling a poptart because he was exactly like the 2012 fan rendition, Tony who was short, Peter who was hiding his identity and Natasha who was looking as cool and kickass as ever, and also Steve who was jacked, had convened in the kitchen that morning only 30 minutes prior and had found the glove sitting harmlessly on the counter.

"I just found them" Tony shrugged

"This cannot be the case" Thor denied hotly, prowling back and forth in the room looking for all intents and purposes like a big cat ready to pounce on a zebra or whatever.

"Well it is, big guy, so suck it up" Tony was already wearing a full suit because that's what billionaires wear for every outfit because all they own is expensive tailor made suits.

Steve rolled his eyes at his husband's antics "settle down tony"

"Maybe mister Stark is telling the truth" said Spiderman

"Why do you sound twelve?" asked Rhodey, but no one paid him any attention because even in this universe he is undervalued.

"I AM telling the truth"

"For once," muttered Clint.

Natasha shot him a smirk, but Steve glared, "you're on that fridge for a reason, Clint"

"Yeah, eagle eye, shut up" Tony smirked triumphantly

"Tony, this is serious" said Steve "we need to know how you got these stones or where you found them. They could be dangerous"

"They are dangerous my friends," said thor who was back to eating his poptarts, "one of those is actually the tesseract. The other is the gem from my brother's sceptre"

At that the group tensed.

"I... I just found them in my lab. They were sat on one of the tables, so I thought one of you guys left them there. So I hotglued them onto the rubber glove" Tony said

"Why was that the first thing you did with them" asked natasha, eyes rolling exasperatedly.

Tony shrugged and the group accepted that answer. He was a billionaire. He did weird stuff all the time.

"Anyway, we need to find somewhere safe to put them" declared Steve, ever the voice of righteous reason.

"There is nowhere safe" Thor said, mouth spraying crumbs all over Rhodey who just sat there and took it because any complaints would get him kicked off the boyband faster than he could blink since only Tony valued his presence and no one cared what Tony said because he was short.

"Then we're screwed" said Clint.

They all sat or stood in considering silence. Brainstorming without actually brainstorming because communicating was hard and they didn't want to.

**Author's Note:**

> And so the tale of our heroes continues...


End file.
